A little light reading

Posted: August 6, 2012 in Writing

I am in the middle of one of the busiest summers I can remember. Two books in progress (They speak to me at different times) and a sci-fi short in the works as well. I realized that I have slightly neglected this blog and at the same time had no real topic in mind. Then I remembered that I wanted to do a little more with writing samples. What I offer below is a simple children’s story that I am playing around with. It is at best an early draft, so show some kindness in your comments. I look to follow up this sample with samples from my two novels, but I need to first create pages for each of them. Anyway, here you go:

Isaac the Ice Cream Dragon

This is envisioned as a picture book for preschoolers.

 

Isaac loved everything about being a dragon.

He loved being able to fly, even if his tiny wings made doing loops hard.

He loved playing run-n-tag, even though his short legs made it hard for him to keep up.

Then there was baseball. There was no game better than baseball. He was picked last, but that didn’t matter

Yes, there was nothing about being a dragon that Isaac did not love.

When Isaac was five he stood in the grand hall with the other young dragons.

It was “Dragon Breath Day”. The day when all young dragons were allowed to try their dragon breath for the first time. 

Isaac hoped that he would breath fire, like his father. Or maybe even lightning like his teacher, Barak.

Finally it was Isaac’s turn.

He bent his knees.

 He flapped his wings.

He took in a deep breath.

Then he  breathed out a huge spout of… [Isaac’s breath should be drawn like wind with sparkles in it. After it passes the ice cream will be visible]

Raspberry ice cream.

Isaac was surprised. What did this mean?

All of the other dragons started to laugh. No one had ever heard about a dragon breathing something as silly as ice cream?

The young dragons started blocking his way when they flew.

And no one chased him during games of tag.

It was worse during baseball. Isaac wasn’t chosen at all.

Isaac began to cry. He didn’t love being a dragon anymore.

He thought about running away, [Isaac packing a bag] but where would he go?

Isaac’s parents were worried. How could they cheer up their little dragon? [Parents standing behind Isaac as he looks out a window at other dragon’s playing]

They decided to bring him to the Dragon Day Picnic.

[Picture of a picnic with all sorts of games and activities.]

Isaac saw a ball throwing booth, but he walked right past it.

Watching dragons playing ring toss reminded him of smoke rings. He hurried by with tears in his eyes. [Juxtaposition of ring toss game and Isaac imagining smoke rings]

Isaac stayed away from the ball field and watched them game from a hill.

After he finished eating Isaac walked into the woods.

Suddenly a huge storm blew in.

The rain came down hard and the wind nearly blew Isaac over.

When the storm was over Isaac thought that he heard crying.

He hurried back to the picnic to find out what had happened.

When he arrived at the tents he saw that everything was soaked. Even the desserts!

At first he was glad that everyone else’s day was ruined.

Then he felt bad. He knew that it hurt to be sad, but what could he do?

Suddenly he had a brilliant idea.

Isaac found the biggest bowl that he could.

He set it on a table and then got ready.

Isaac bent his knees.

He flapped his wings.

He took in a deep breath and breathed out the most amazing vanilla and chocolate swirl ice cream he could.

The bowl looked beautiful, all fiiled with ice cream.

Isaac took the bowl over to some of the other dragons and offered it to him.

They all agreed, and soon everyone was seated on the ground and slurping up and enjoying their own bowls of ice cream.

Now the other dragons realized that Isaac was special. Isaac was once again allowed to fly.

Play tag.

He even played baseball. And afterwards they would all enjoy some ice cream.

Comments
  1. Marcia says:

    It’s a great story, Jason! The plot is complete. I think just some tightening up and shortening would make it a final draft. Picture books are usually shorter. See how long it holds Cam’s attention. About the point where she loses interest, is probably a good length for the book. I see you have notes as placeholders for illustrations. Those and possibly more can take the place of some of the words. Overall, I love it! It’s really hard to write a great children’s book because you have to capture the story in so few words. You’re off to a super start!

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